It’s 5 o’clock in the morning…Coffee buzz… Sudden sweat… In a split second, my mood goes down.
My mind, ”This is not right!! I did all my positive affirmations and prayers!! But…”
My logical mind knows that I am a superwoman with incredible powers. But this little thing, little voice, not even a little voice, something else, whispers, “You are not as great as you think…”
Another cup of coffee… Estrogen pills… progesterone cream… a pen and paper.
I have to share my year and a half journey with other women and men. Here I go.
My name is Maria Serbina. I am 55. I breathe, talk, and walk online marketing, to be precise – Brand Visibility Online. The camera is my best friend and an amazing marketing tool.
But today I want to talk about something completely different. I want to talk about, how problems with my health affected my business and became a blessing in disguise.
In July of 2015, I spoke on stage in Miami, FL at Hell Yeah X event. I just published my 1st book titled “If I can’t Find You in 3 Seconds You don’t Exist: Being Findable Online for Ultimate Visibility & Profits”. I sold all copies that I brought with me to the event. I had a great feeling of success.
At the same time, I had my high end coaching and consulting clients and enjoyed Livestream broadcasting on my YouTube channel. Life was great.
A few months later I started experiencing a toothache under the bridge in my mouth. The trip to the dentist was almost devastating. I needed bridge removal, 2 extractions, 2 dental implants, a new 4-unit bridge and 9 months without teeth. It was the one-and-only solution in my situation.
I came home and broke into tears, “Really?? 9 months with a toothless hole in my mouth, no smile, not able to eat solid foods and a bill for $9,000?? And forget to be in front of the camera.”
I stopped doing Livestream. It was impossible to look good on camera without teeth in unforgiving cyber space. I tried. It was very hurtful to see nasty comments about my smile.
I was lucky to have long term clients who helped me stay afloat. I stopped prospecting and talking to people altogether. I stopped talking to strangers on the phone because besides my Russian accent I had speech impediment from missing teeth.
While I was waiting for my implants to heal I went to my family doctor for a check-up. I haven’t seen him for over 3 years since I never had any issues with my health. During the check-up, he discovered that my uterus was abnormally enlarged. He started checking my old ultrasound from 2009 and to his surprise, he discovered fibroids that never got any medical attention at that time. I was clueless about their existence too.
I got referred to an OBGYN doctor. The verdict there was a hysterectomy. My fibroids were huge. The expression when it rains it pours was absolutely perfect in my situation.
I looked at the sky in disbelieve, “Seriously?? I just got my bridge and few veneers put on, that added another $6,000 to my dental bill, and NOW this extensive surgery??!!”
The day before my surgery while eating dinner, I felt a tooth on the other side of my mouth under my crown move a little. I had a thought in the back of my mind that I could swallow this tooth during intubation before the surgery. Guess what? At that exact moment, I swallowed that tooth with a piece of bread that I was eating! It was a “WTF” is going on moment.
Surgery… blood pressure 47 over 27 after the surgery is done… saw my Creator for a second… night in ICU.
After a long foggy month to recovery, I thought I was out of the woods. But then menopause hits me like a ton of bricks. My left ovary was removed with my hysterectomy and my body wasn’t ready for it.
When I asked my OB/GYN doctor about the effect of the surgery on my body he said it shouldn’t be severe because of my age. So, I wasn’t prepared for a sudden strike. Besides hot flashes, sweats, and sleepless nights the surgery had a physiological effect on my brain.
Before the surgery, I thought that I would never have any thoughts about myself being a lesser woman. It changed after the surgery. I realized that very important part of my female identity was removed from my body. Also, mood swings kept me almost in a depression. (My definition of depression is when someone cries for no reason and smiles only twice a day.)
It was extremely hard to concentrate on my business. Ironically, I belong to the category of people who know it all, but I didn’t know how to deal with this “wonderful” package.
Now I have to thank Google for its extensive knowledge database. I have to thank Google for its extensive knowledge database. I spent hours doing my research online before and after surgery. I talked to my girlfriends who went through similar surgeries and absorbed their experiences. I wanted to figure out how I could improve my physical, mental and spiritual bodies.
I have been practicing affirmations for many years, but I’ve never done them on a regular basis. I started practicing them every day when I found out about fibroids. Also, I started practicing forgiveness every day.
There is a firm belief among natural medical practitioners and spiritual teachers that anger and resentment are the main causes of many diseases in our bodies, and fibroids are one of them. I work on my self-forgiveness religiously. Affirmations, prayers and forgiveness help me tremendously with my mental and spiritual well-being.
I found out that my body feels better with Progesta-Care (natural progesterone) and herbal supplements preventing night sweats and hot flashes. Brisk 4-mile walk and a 30 min. exercise program helps tremendously.
Also, my personal secret to overall well-being and happiness is having a conversation with my body, asking every organ how “she/he” feels. I send love to every part and organ of my body.
It has been more than 8 months after the surgery; 8 months of being hard on myself. My business was negatively affected by the whole chain of events. But I see the light at the end of the tunnel.
First of all, I will get my beautiful smile back in a few weeks. I had an incredible opportunity to get my crowns (remember my swallowed tooth) done for a small fraction of the cost.
Second, I came to the realization of what I really want to do and what makes me excited in my business.
Third, I am resuming “Be the Biz Celeb” Livestream on Facebook, Periscope, and YouTube (Cheerleading and Leadership will be a part of it).
Oh, ALSO, if you are getting close to 45 or have crossed this line follow me on SM. I promise you great tips on health, beauty, fashion, and, of course, business and marketing tips.
You can download my health, youth and business affirmations HERE. My acknowledgments for affirmations are to Florence Scovel Shinn and Catherine Ponder.
To Be Continued…
About the author:
International marketing consultant, coach and a computer nerd Maria Serbina helps entrepreneurs create visibility, expert and celebrity status online. She is the author of “If I can’t find You in 3 Seconds You Don’t Exist: Being Fundable Online for Ultimate Visibility and Profits.”
Connect with Maria on:
LinkedIn using email@example.com